*_RETIRED HEALTH MESSAGE_*

                                    As I was lying in bed pondering the
                                    problems of the world,**I rapidly
                                    realized that I don't really give a
                                    rat's hiney. It's the tortoise life
                                    for me!

                                    1.. If walking is good for your
                                    health, the postman would be immortal.

                                2.. A whale swims all day, only eats
                                fish, drinks water, and is fat.

                            3.. A rabbit runs and hops and only lives 15

                            4.. A tortoise doesn't run and does nothing,
                            yet it lives for 450 years.

                            And you tell me to exercise?? I don't think so.

                        *I'm retired. Go around me.*

                        God grant me the senility to forget the people I
                        never liked, the good fortune to run into the
                        ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference.

                    *Now that I'm older here's what I've discovered:*

                    1. I started out with nothing, and I still have most
                    of it.

                    2. My wild oats have turned into prunes and all-bran.

                    3. I finally got my head together, and now my body
                    is falling apart.

                    4. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.

                    5. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.

                    6. If all is not lost, where is it?

                    7. It is easier to get older than it is to get wiser.

                    8. Some days, you're the dog; some days you're the

                    9. I wish the buck stopped here; I sure could use a few.

                    10. Kids in the back seat cause accidents.

                    11. Accidents in the back seat cause kids.

                    12. It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't
                    been anywhere.

                    13. The only time the world beats a path to your
                    door is when you're in the bathroom.

                    14. If God wanted me to touch my toes, he'd have put
                    them on my knees.

                    15. When I'm finally holding all the cards, why does
                    everyone want to play chess?

                    16. Its not hard to meet expenses . . . they're

                    17. The only difference between a rut and a grave is
                    the depth.

                    18. These days, I spend a lot of time thinking about
                    the hereafter . . .I go somewhere to get something,
                    and then wonder what I'm hereafter

                19. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.

                20. DID I SEND THESE TO YOU BEFORE..........??????



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